so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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