The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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