That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
