I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
