I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
