She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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