i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
