He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
