If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
