we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
All I want is dick and wine.
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