Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
