I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
