I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize