he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
