Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
