Already got asked if we're dating
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize