They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
should my penis look like a turkey
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
