Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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