I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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