"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
