I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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