That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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