hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
