If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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