R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
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if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
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Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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