His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
