Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
