hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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