puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
whose parrot is this?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
