I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
