But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
