Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
