3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
