I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
