pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize