Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize