Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
