Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
