you win again, gameday.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
