I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize