Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
