yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize