Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
