koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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