This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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