He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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