i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize