She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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