11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
