Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
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This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
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Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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