Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
