Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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