no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
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