I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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