apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize