No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
