no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
