just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
