If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
