carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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